Tuesday, April 5, 2011

The power of mankind!

Hardin is going into his 3rd day of laying in a fetal position and sleeping.  He says the pain is deep and unlike any he has ever had.  (I am told that as the cord cells began to engraft, that there is much intense pain!)  These 'baby cells' just aren't sure what they are doing.  Their counting is 1,2,4,7,3,9,5,3,10 . . . when we need 1,2,3,4,56,7,8,9,10!  Having sat by his side 99% of the night, I practiced counting for them over and over!  
He asked me last night and several times today, "Don't leave me, OK?"  "Mom, am I really going to come through this?"  "They haven't told you something you are not telling me have they?"  "Just touch me on my back."  So I sit on a foot stool by his bed(the fold down murphy bed meant for the caregiver . . . which is much more comfortable than the hospital bed which continually moves up and down with your body movement).

Watching far too much tv, but if I tried to read, the eyes close and the head nods, I came across a documentary on Niagara Falls.  The commentator was speaking of the power of the water and energy it  released.  As I've listened to the rhythmic pattern of Hardin's breathing and then the erratic patterns that comes with a new wave of pain . . . I am reminded of the "Power of Niagara Falls"!

I have a power I'll put up against it's sku-millions of gallons of water and it's power . . .
The "power of  man kind" . . . the will of these transplant patients!!!  I watch them walk the halls with each step requiring more energy than all the falls together can produce . . . and they do it day after day.  I watch them loving life so much that they go through the worst of the worst just to have another tomorrow.

It's the power of man kind . . . the will of the nurses, doctors, lab researchers  and techs who continually search for a cure of so many illnesses and diseases . . . who use the power of their  being to think outside a box to find and follow the power of a new thought or possibility.
It's a power of Divine strength and magnitude.  

It's the power of man kind . . . the will of inventors who come up with the machinery, tests equipment, new formulas . . . who use the power of 'what if' & 'why not' to find the new
'this is it's'.

It's the power of man kind . . . the will of the mother or dad who work 2 and sometimes 3 jobs so their children can have food to eat, a place to live and the opportunity for a secure tomorrow.

It's the power of mankind . . . made in God's image!  For with God, all things are possible . . . when you love God with heart, mind, body and soul & love mankind as much as God loves mankind . . . then God's power is in mankind.

For this moment, Hardin sleeps.  Bailey and Will Faulkner willing be meeting, loving and caring for Sydney Elizabeth Faulkner one day in August . . . maybe on her mother's birthday, Marc or Evans' birthday or maybe one of her own.  

For this moment, the energy of mankind is alive and well . . . seeking out all the possibilities of 'what could be' . . . each second of everyday and I feel peace, joy and wonder in this moment . . . but mostly 'gratitude' . . . for The Power of life!!!

Sunday, April 3, 2011

A Great Way to Think into Today . . . Happy Sunday!!!

from Renaissance Unity . . .

Sunday, April 3, 2011 – Victory
Fall seven times, stand up eight.”
~Japanese Proverb

“The only victory that counts is the one over yourself.”
~ Jesse Owens
Today's Affirmation
Anchored in Truth, I am victorious over fear, worry, lack and limitation of every kind.
Today's Meditation
Dear God,

There is much noise around our world, shouting about how hopeless things seem.
If I listen, my mind quickly takes the noise and creates a story that recaps all of the terrible events
    and then tells the story over and over.
In the midst of this clanging, I can hear Your still, small voice when I take time to focus.
Your voice reminds me that everything is working together in ways I might not understand yet.
From an expanding awareness of Your presence flows peace, calm and serenity.
I surrender the victim stories I have created,
And with YOU experience the sweetness of victory over fear and worry.
Hold my hand God, I am holding Yours . . .
in this race to win.
Thank You.

Friday, April 1, 2011

Random thoughts!

Written 3/31/11 (but no signal to post so will show up at 4/1/11)

One of the blessings of any journey is the people that cross your path.  

I was sitting in the family kitchen of our floor at MD making a pot of coffee tonight and waiting to hear if Kristy was still up.  A young woman came in to pop corn and her shoulders were a bit stooped and her face was tired.  As you know, I can talk to a wall . . . so the conversation began.  

Long story short:  she is a resident wanting to go into peds or family practice.  She is taking a leave for the months of March and April to care for her mother who began her chemo today before her  bone marrow transplant on April 7. 
She is tired!  She is worried for her mother and also as to how she will care for her mother when she leaves the hospital.  You see, when a patient leaves MD after the transplant, they are to have someone with them 24/7.  In discharge class today (want to be ready whenever this day comes!) the statement was made several times, that if there are things you need/want to do once our patient is discharged, then do it when they are in the one of the clinics getting blood/platelets or waiting on lab and results!!! 

I asked her what surprised her most about this process called med-school, residence & her journey.  She pondered, went somewhere very deep within herself and after what seemed like an hour directed her warm eyes into the past and spoke of a patient who had breast cancer without insurance and what she went thru to help her get thru the system.  Then she spoke of another and another until her eyes were filled with tears of compassion and concern.  She was most surprised about her emotion for each patient and not just in treating the diagnosis!

That precious, glorified spirit before me was already a  "physician"!!!  She had passed the title of 'doctor'.

She sat down with me and prayed . . . no, she had a conversation with her Creator which I was honored to witness.  Her words fells on God's heart and my soul was blessed.

Hardin has slept 90% of today.  You know how new born babies are . . . eat, sleep and ????  Well, Hardin has slept, eaten almost everything put before him . . . well  some things mothers of 'adult sons' don't need to know unless it is an emergency.

For the last 28 days,  Hardin has been up at this 2a.m. hour showering and visiting . . . he now lays in that cuddled, fetal position, sleeping like a newborn baby.  That is exactly what he is doing . . . going thru that birthing process!

They will come in at 4a.m. to draw blood.  The results will be in about 8a.m.  Will his WBC stay at 0.5?  Will they drop?  Will they go up?  My mother's heart is so full of gratitude and joy to see him sleep so peacefully that for this moment in time . . . that is all I need.

Oh, April 1!!!  In one week we will have been here for 6 months without returning to where my heart is happiest, Arkansas!  Never in my life did I ever dream of not being within it boundaries for half a year!  I so love coming home from any journey when you top those knolls seeing the skyline of downtown.   The site of those buildings always bring an exhale moment.

Good night Arkansas . . . Where ever you are!!!