He asked me last night and several times today, "Don't leave me, OK?" "Mom, am I really going to come through this?" "They haven't told you something you are not telling me have they?" "Just touch me on my back." So I sit on a foot stool by his bed(the fold down murphy bed meant for the caregiver . . . which is much more comfortable than the hospital bed which continually moves up and down with your body movement).
Watching far too much tv, but if I tried to read, the eyes close and the head nods, I came across a documentary on Niagara Falls. The commentator was speaking of the power of the water and energy it released. As I've listened to the rhythmic pattern of Hardin's breathing and then the erratic patterns that comes with a new wave of pain . . . I am reminded of the "Power of Niagara Falls"!
I have a power I'll put up against it's sku-millions of gallons of water and it's power . . .
The "power of man kind" . . . the will of these transplant patients!!! I watch them walk the halls with each step requiring more energy than all the falls together can produce . . . and they do it day after day. I watch them loving life so much that they go through the worst of the worst just to have another tomorrow.
It's the power of man kind . . . the will of the nurses, doctors, lab researchers and techs who continually search for a cure of so many illnesses and diseases . . . who use the power of their being to think outside a box to find and follow the power of a new thought or possibility.
It's a power of Divine strength and magnitude.
It's the power of man kind . . . the will of inventors who come up with the machinery, tests equipment, new formulas . . . who use the power of 'what if' & 'why not' to find the new
'this is it's'.
It's the power of man kind . . . the will of the mother or dad who work 2 and sometimes 3 jobs so their children can have food to eat, a place to live and the opportunity for a secure tomorrow.
It's the power of mankind . . . made in God's image! For with God, all things are possible . . . when you love God with heart, mind, body and soul & love mankind as much as God loves mankind . . . then God's power is in mankind.
For this moment, Hardin sleeps. Bailey and Will Faulkner willing be meeting, loving and caring for Sydney Elizabeth Faulkner one day in August . . . maybe on her mother's birthday, Marc or Evans' birthday or maybe one of her own.
For this moment, the energy of mankind is alive and well . . . seeking out all the possibilities of 'what could be' . . . each second of everyday and I feel peace, joy and wonder in this moment . . . but mostly 'gratitude' . . . for The Power of life!!!
You're such a great mother to so many. I LOVE YOU all soooo much and can't wait for the day for Sydney to meet John Hardin and Evans. I know they will love her as much as I love your sons.
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